Transcript: Pizza Toppings

BIANCA: I bet I know your favorite thing to eat. I bet it’s pizza. It’s my favorite. I could eat it every night. Sometimes, when it’s left over, I eat it cold for breakfast. I’m getting together for pizza with my friends Darcy and Lupe. I told them I would take care of ordering it. I heard this place “John’s” makes a good pie. And since I take my pizza very seriously I don’t want to take any chances. I want to check it out before placing an order. I need to know what you would rate this pizza?

WOMAN: Lovely.

MAN: Out of this world.

BIANCA: Does it bother you that the olives are touching the pepperoni? Does it bother you that the spinach is touching the mushrooms?

PEOPLE: No.

BIANCA: It doesn’t? Well, the pizza looks really good. But I have to make sure our toppings don’t mix, especially anchovies, which Darcy and Lope love, which is, I don’t understand that. They are so disgusting, they are so like slimy and they have creepy hairs all over them and they are so like salty and they make you want to drink like 500 gallons of water.

BIANCA: Hi!

RESTAURANT EMPLOYEE: Hi!

BIANCA: I want to order a really special pizza.

RESTAURANT EMPLOYEE: Okay.

BIANCA: One that gives different people exactly what they like. Darcy likes anchovies, peppers and onions. Lupe likes anchovies, pepperoni and pineapple, and I like mushrooms, onions and pepperoni, and above all, no anchovies.

RESTAURANT EMPLOYEE: Look, I’ve got a lot of tables I have to get to, you’re going to have to figure out how to put that together.

BIANCA: Okay, maybe a diagram would help. I’ll put what Darcy wants in a red circle, Lupe’s preferences in a blue circle, and my favorite in a green circle. This is what we want: Darcy and Lupe both like anchovies; Lupe and I like pepperoni; Darcy and I like onions. Only Darcy gets peppers, only Lupe gets pineapples and only I get mushrooms.

RESTAURANT EMPLOYEE: You’ve got to be kidding.

BIANCA: No. I’m not kidding. Okay, start at the beginning. Here’s Darcy’s circle, Lupe’s circle, and mine. So Darcy gets peppers, onions and anchovies. Lupe gets anchovies, pepperoni and pineapple. And I get pepperoni, mushrooms and onions. This middle section is empty because there’s no one ingredient that all three of us like to eat. Perfect! It’s got everything that everybody wants and each of us can avoid eating what we don’t like. That means there are pieces for me without the dreaded, nasty, foul, gross, yucky anchovies. Look, I made it myself, will you just pop it in the oven?

RESTAURANT EMPLOYEE: Sorry, we’re closed for the day.

BIANCA: Closed?

RESTAURANT EMPLOYEE: Yes, closed.

BIANCA: Oh, no. Darcy and Lupe will never forgive me. I promised to bring them pizza.

RESTAURANT EMPLOYEE: Well, I think we have an extra one lying around, you can have that.

BIANCA: Well, I guess it’s better than going home empty handed. What kind do you have left?

RESTAURANT EMPLOYEE: It’s the house specialty – anchovy!