Transcript: Bianca the Spy

BIANCA: This is so boring, everything is so boring. My life is so dull. I wish I were a movie star, or scientist, or a secret agent.

TV GUY: The Evil Dr. Ennui has created a device that will destroy all video games. Your mission is to infiltrate his fortress, take apart the device and replace the crystal with the harmless blue one. If you follow the instructions, you will succeed. If you don’t, it was nice knowing you.

BIANCA: Inside the fortress, walk through the main hall. Avoid stepping on cracks, which contain secret switches that will set off the alarm. Go under the set of lasers. Break the beam and you will set off the alarm. Laser limbo, how quaint. Move the blue vase under the red light. Red light, red light, there is no red light, I don’t see a red light! Great, great! Now what? I’m trying to save the world and there is no red light. I’m in.

TV GUY: Step one: Place switches 1, 3 and 5 in the down position.

BIANCA: Done!

TV GUY: Step two, place switches 2 and 4 in the up position.

BIANCA: Completed.

TV GUY: Step three; unscrew the top of the control unit. Start with the top right screw and work clockwise until all the screws are out.

BIANCA: That’s done.

TV GUY: Step four; open the cover of the video game eliminator.

BIANCA: Ok.

TV GUY: Step five; replace the red crystal with the special blue crystal we gave you.

BIANCA: Ok.

TV GUY: Put it back together and do the inverse of what you did in step one, two, three and four.

BIANCA: Inverse, that means do the opposite. Now the screws. I started with the top right and worked my way around clockwise. Now I’ll start with the left and work my way around counter clockwise. Now the switches 1, 3, and 5 should be up. Oh no! I should have flipped 2 and 4 first.

TV GUY: Bianca, get out while you still can.

BIANCA: I wish I could do the inverse of this.